Obsessive Positivity Thinkers

 How many times have you heard this advice when dealing with painful emotions? "Stop being so sensitive. Suck it up and move on."

When others tell you to bury your feelings, it can make you question yourself and the messages your body is trying to send to you. Think about the many times you've attempted to push away a painful feeling by scrolling through social media, bingeing on Netflix, using food, alcohol, addictive substances to avoid emotions, diving into a book, or the newest escape from reality: "obsessive positive thinking." In a world filled with distractions and erroneous messages we've received throughout our lives about emotions, it's easy to see why so many people are afraid to validate feelings. For instance, people who strive hard for happiness set themselves up for failure and often times end up more miserable lying to themselves that the very reality in front of them doesn't exist when it really does. Inevitably, they attempt to make a false reality a reality. Many not only tend to be lonely, but loners and are at greater risk for both manic episodes and deep depression. Bear with me as there will be a spiritual message before I finish. This is a long blog. Some may want to read half now, the other half later. Hopefully it is interesting enough you can finish it in one sitting.

The Obsessive Positive Thinker (OPT) will use positive thinking to avoid or suppress negative emotions and avoid them as if they were the plague. This is not mentally healthy. Avoiding emotions can become toxic. These deniers of reality train themselves to insist things are, in fact, not bad, ever. They don't realize pushing down and suppressing emotions is actually storing up negativity -- the very thing they preach to avoid. Without the ability to face reality and release negativity through expressions such as tears, anger, or remaining quiet, fosters a concept of unrealistic optimism. This happens when we cause the body and spirit to constantly fight to maintain a positive mindset and to exude only positive emotions & thoughts, particularly when things are difficult or truth tries to shake the OPT from their slumber. Admittedly, a reasonable amount of positivity can aid in stress management making us feel better for the moment, but an OPT who divorces himself from reality lives in a constant lie where the senses can see and feel reality but the mind ignores actual facts. This is so toxic. Yes, mind over matter can be a good thing but not with every situation taking place in our lives! People who lie to themselves that 'all is well' when it is not, actually have a bigger mental issue than those who see trouble as something negative. The goal should be tell themselves the truth, accept it, learn from it, grow in the process, and move on.  

We've been taught to ignore, deny, and avoid our emotions altogether—but this is more than just bad advice. Feeling leads to healing (trite but true). When we push away, suppress, or criticize ourselves for having emotions, it comes with a very high cost: our health. Sadly, we've learned how to push discomfort away, but even when we do, it always stays—and grows. There was study from the University of Texas. It found that when we avoid our emotions, we're actually making them stronger. This can create many maladies in the body and in the mind, causing a myriad of health issues. Simply, Toxic Positivity is a term that means… “You must be positive, at all times, no matter what.” It’s another way of saying, “power through it” at whatever expense. It is not simply being positive. It is an unhealthy way of being positive. There is a difference between optimism and toxic positivity.

Coming from a mental health background, I saw this in our patients on a daily basis. When you suppress your emotions, you are confusing and hurting your body in a profound way. Emotions are our body's method of getting us to take action. On a very primal level, our bodies are trying to keep us safe at all times. Back in the cave man and cave woman days, we learned to listen to our guts because they would save us from attack: run away or get eaten. People today are not necessarily running from wild animals anymore but reacting to an emotion and processing it can still ultimately protect them from dangers, both physical and mental. With the speed of our days, it can be challenging to hear what our bodies are trying to say. 

In my career, the mental health experts I worked with proved again and again that suppressing emotions was associated with high rates of heart disease, as well as autoimmune disorders, ulcers, IBS, and gastrointestinal health complications. Physicians were constantly referring their patients to our office when the intervention of medicine designed for the physical body was not working for their patients. Whether you are experiencing anger, sadness, grief, or frustration, pushing those feelings aside actually leads to physical stress on your body and eventually leads to disease. Studies show that holding in feelings has a correlation to high cortisol—the hormone released in response to stress—and that cortisol leads to lower immunity and toxic thinking patterns! Over time, untreated or unrecognized stress can lead to an increased risk of diabetes, problems with memory, aggression, anxiety, and depression. And though OPT's believe they are somehow magically releasing negativity from their bodies through deep breathing, meditation, massage, yoga, or aromatherapy, these methods may temporarily relieve a moment of varied negative feelings within the body itself, but they do nothing to remove REALITY from our minds. The mind stores every thought, imagination, lesson, and memory (good or bad) that has ever crossed the neurons in our brain. In other words, deciding to bury your feelings and ignore them, internalize them, pretend they didn't happen, or to convince yourself that there is no need to deal with them, can literally make you sick and take years to manifest itself!

A few more points before I tie in my biblical message. Anything done in excess, when positivity is used to cover up or silence the human experience, it becomes toxic. By disallowing the existence of certain feelings, we fall into a state of denial and repressed emotions. People who regularly refuse to deal with their emotions honestly and completely but ignore the obvious, are also likely to have more interpersonal challenges. They are less aware of the signals they are sending to others and are often more reactive and disconnected from themselves, which can lead to feelings of isolation and can interfere with relationships. Again, The OPT's tend to not only be lonely but loners! They are at greater risk for both manic episodes and depression according to research. 

Now, how can you develop a healthy relationship with your emotions? Easy. Get with the One who made you. Those who develop a deep, personal, meaningful relationship with God tend to have fewer mental health concerns. I observed this as well in my career in mental health. Patients who listed different faiths in their charts and who relied on themselves to balance their own mental health were more likely to suffer from bipolar, dissociative behaviors, nervous break-downs, and depressive disorders MDD. These category of people were nearly all of the eastern religions, especially the Hindu and the Buddhist. The atheist were a whole other story. Let me interject something important. The psychiatrist I worked for considered the entire man, and he believed a persons faith played a role in their mental stability so he required each patient list their faith (or if an atheist) and officially recorded it in their chart. And, just so you are aware, the psychiatrist I worked for was not a Christian. He was a devote Muslim and the psychotherapist whom I also worked for was atheist. There were many more Eastern religion patients than those who either listed their faith as "Christianity, Christian, or born-again believer. The smaller group of Christian people sought help for disobedient or rebellious teens. Some needed to know how to be more confident in their career. Yet others wanted to know how to overcome a certain vice and a lot wanted advice on how to salvage their marriage. The OPT's were diagnosed with a specific mental conditions verified through the many charts under the Eastern religion category that I observed. From a spiritual perspective, if a person is an obsessively positive thinker and absolutely considers everything is good, nothing is ever wrong, everything is always positive, ethical, and upright, then sin doesn't exist and therefore there is no need for a Savior. Right?  God tells us otherwise. 

I can only share what I, as a true follower of Christ, have learned in this matter. Many religions, but specifically those of Eastern philosophy, depend wholly on themselves to EARN salvation. That alone would be stressful all in itself since people can never be "good" through their own efforts to attain son-ship with God.  The OPT's efforts to achieve, reach, obtain, acquire, bring about, effectuate, or accomplish enlightenment (Nirvana) are never ending and are always repeated through their belief in reincarnation. Again, self effort cannot get them there! Reincarnation allows them a get-out-of jail card and never allows them to face failure, or admit sin. If they ever acknowledged defeat, they would be forced to accept there is a God bigger than they whom they need to achieve the peaceful happiness they fight all their reincarnated live(s) to find. Jesus told the world, "It is appointed unto man to die ONCE, then comes judgment" (Hebrews 9:27). Notice two important words? APPOINTED and ONCE. Your death has been designated and it only happens once!

On the other side of the coin, Christians:

Know we are loved unconditionally by the Creator of the Universe (1 John 4:19)

Know we have a purpose because He created us on purpose, for a purpose (Proverbs 16:4)

We get a new identity. We become a new person with Jesus living in our hearts (2 Corinthians 5:17)

We are freed from fear. He gives us a spirit of power, love, and a SOUND MIND (2 Timothy 1:7)

We have the way to heaven. Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life (John 14:6)

He takes care of our needs. He provides all of our needs according to His riches in glory (Philippians 4:19)

We are completely forgiven. He has buried all our sins, to remember them no more. We've been pardoned (Micah 7:19)

We are given guidance. He shares His wisdom with us through His Holy Spirit and we recognize those messages (Romans 12:1-2)

We are protected from evil. Bad things can happen but He ultimately gets justice for those who believe (Ecclesiastes 3:17)

We are set free from addictions, vices, and behaviors that weigh us down (Romans 6:18)

We experience peace that by passes all human understanding (Philippians 4:7)

We are given eternal life to live with Him in heaven just for believing Him. (John 3:16-17)

Our salvation is a free gift we cannot earn earn by ascending upward in stages to improve our own condition (Ephesians 2:8-9)

Christians pray to and meditate ON GOD, His goodness, His Word, and our intimate relationship with Him. We never use meditation as a means of awakening or liberation from ignorance or defilement (only Jesus has liberation power over sin/defilement not mortal man), nor do we believe in reaching salvation or 'perfection of self' by ascending up levels to attain enlightenment (Nirvana) through multiple reincarnations. You cannot get there by your own, flawed, nature! That is basically a self-serve salvation because you have to keep trying. There is no salvation outside of Christ (Acts 4:12). Our meditation consists of these: We believe "whatever things are true, just, nobble, pure, lovely, of good report, if there is any virtue, or anything praiseworthy we think on these things" (Philippians 4:8).  Under the banner of Christianity it takes mere seconds to receive the free-gift of salvation not thousands of attempts and certainly not dozens of reincarnations as in the religions of Eastern philosophy. 

Until He Comes, 

-Pat-