As followers of Jesus, all Christians know these words, “Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord. But if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:19-21). How difficult is it for you to turn the other cheek when you've been wronged, taken advantage of, mistreated, hurt, or victimized? Then, according to our faith we are to be kind to the betrayer?? Today my prayer is that my blog will help give a little clarity in understanding the reasoning behind not seeking 'a pound of flesh' for a 'pound of flesh' and why we are called to restrain. It actually benefits us! There is power in self control. And by the end of this blog you'll understand why.
When people live by the adage, “An eye for and eye and a tooth for a tooth,” in all honesty, all we end up with are a lot of toothless, blind people. Instead of such a response, we are called to live by the words found in Proverbs 20:22, “Do not say, ‘I’ll pay you back for this wrong!’ Wait for the Lord, and he will avenge you.” Because the Lord is our Shepherd, because He is our strong tower and refuge, He asks us to leave retribution and vengeance in His hands if we are ever wronged or harmed by another. I'm speaking personally now, as His child, He puts His hand on my shoulder, places Himself between the perpetrator and myself, saying, “I’ve got this!”
Over the years I have discovered that if I am ever truly wronged by another and if I lay that wrong on God’s doorstep, He is always faithful to avenge the wrong that was done to His child, in that instance, me. However, more times than not, when I have been wounded by something that another has said or done, it’s not that I have been truly wounded but my feelings have been deeply hurt. And in that moment, if I am not careful, if I am not cognisant, if I let my self give into my flesh and do not place it before God, my greatest temptation is to extract vengeance myself, wanting to collect my own 'pound of flesh' (not in a physical way) from the one who has offended me. I want them to feel what they made me feel. That is why such things need to be laid at the feet of the Lord before we strike out on our own.
Even though I know that God says that vengeance is His, I have often grown so impatient in the past because His timing was never the same as mine. I wanted my pound of flesh now! And in the heat of the moment, I took action myself. When I did this, I could sense that God had stepped back, brushed off His hands and said, “Have at it.” Then, it was only a matter of time before the matter grew increasingly worse. It is then, that I came crawling back to God, seeking His forgiveness and repenting for having taken the matter out of His hands so I could handle it myself. Since then, through the years of spiritual chastisement and growth, I have matured in my walk and am no longer prisoner to my flesh. There are times though, even now, that I bite my lip, pray immediately, and repeat appropriate scriptures, so that I stay aligned with what God wants and expects from my behavior. I now give it all to God and trust all “pay backs” to Him, and when I do, I find peace and also discover when God takes vengeance on my behalf, He is much more thorough that I ever would have been.
To the issue of timing, it seemed that God never rushed in too soon. In one case, His retribution on my behalf took place after four decades! That's 40 years! I have learned to trust Him and His timing. God also, in that 40 year interim, exhorted me to pray for the one who wounded me, which sincere prayers worked/works wonders on personal healing. That's my healing, not the abuser's healing. And when I wait and trust Him no matter how long its taking, I feel my hurts begin to miraculously heal, even though the person may never come and ask for my forgiveness. So ..
Here's the bottom line, will you trust God with your wounds? You are His child, He loves you with an undying love and if someone vindictively attacks you, your Father in heaven, can and will handle it. It can be in the same day, other answers take longer. But keep in mind, God will probably back away from the situation if you feel the need to settle accounts yourself. Because in reality, the moment you strike back to hurt someone, evil has won a double victory--it corrupted them into hurting you, and then it successfully corrupted you into acting like them! As Christians, it is crucial to realize The WORD OF GOD separates vengence (getting even for wrongs done to us) from protection/self-defense (stopping active harm). We are not to realiate but understand Jesus' message. When you strike back—whether physically, verbally, or emotionally—you hand the offender continued power over your heart. Turning the other cheek breaks that chain. It stops the cycle, preserves your inner freedom, and leaves justice where it belongs—with God, who sees fully and judges rightly. That doesn’t mean there are no boundaries or consequences; it means you refuse to poison yourself with bitterness while waiting for justice. The famous 4 words,, "turn the other cheek" (from Matthew 5:38-39) is not literal!! Jesus is not saying let yourself get hit, beat up, or abused, or become a passive victim of voilence. Here's the lesson: "Turn the other cheek," is WISDOM. Here's the logic. By not exacting a pound of flesh for a pound of flesh, by turning and not striking back, it takes away the offender's power to control your emotional state!
One final thought: I will now incorporate what I learned working in the mental health field under a highly degreed psychiatrist. What I learned will psychologically tie in perfectly with what Jesus taught. There is wisdom in His words "turn the other cheek." Think of some of your own personal experiences when someone has wronged you for whatever reason. What was their reaction when you would not respond to their anger, undeserved mistreatment, or even their jealousy? When you remained silent? When you would not engage? ---> TURN THE OTHER CHEEK--DON'T FIGHT BACK--DON'T ENGAGE--STAY QUIET. For your aggresser, no response or not lowering yourself to their level, dramatically frustrates them because it strips away their energy. You're feeding them nothing.. no energy, no audience, no fuel to keep fighting or arguing. It leads them into a void with zero emotional return on their investment! The human brain hates unanswered questions.
See, without a reaction from you, they cannot measure your anger, agree with their narrative, and their mind begins to scramble! Have you seen it before? Because of your refusal to engage, they cannot figure out what you are thinking so they have trouble controlling the narrative! When you remain calm, silent, never act or respond, refusing to play into their drama after hurting you, forces them to sit with the awkward, uncomfortable reality of their own hostility. Your calm restraint exposes that they are the one out of line, out of control, while you are steady, calm, peaceful, not owned by their emotions ..YOU'RE WALKING IN OBEDIENCE TO GOD'S WORD. Choosing not to engage, fight back, or retaliate, even if it's a present problem or one that strethes for months or years, preserves your peace because you maitained a higher level of intrgrity by disengaging entirely. Now, watch the promise and the timing from the Lord, "It is mine to avenge; I will repay. In due time their foot will slip" (Deuteronomy 32:35).
Until He Comes,
-Pat-












