One of the most difficult commands given in the Bible by Jesus is to "Love your enemies." It is not a suggestion. Jesus was serious. But how can you do something like that, especially if someone has committed an unimaginable atrocity like the situation that happened to an acquaintance of someone I know. Her little 6 year old granddaughter was kidnapped, raped, and murdered. The grandmother cannot get past hate she feels and it's eating her from the inside out. Her health has been affected and she's aged 10 years in 12 months.
Loving someone who has committed an unimaginable act is not about pretending those acts are acceptable or minimizing anyone's pain. Neither is the command in the book of Luke about forcing yourself to feel warm, fuzzy affection toward monsters—it’s about a radical shift in how you respond to evil. AND THAT'S THE KEY. Loving and forgiving an enemy or wrong doing is for your sake not theirs. Hopefully you will see it as I go through this blog. I will list some ways that I have had to learn and apply this wisdom to my own life. And it isn't a matter of just thinking nice thoughts. We need Jesus to do a heart change within us, to put the kind of heart within us toward our enemies that was in God who sent Jesus to redeem and forgive a world full of despicable people.
I'm going to use that grandmothers horrific situation for the purpose of showing how to process real horror if this was actually you while being told to “love your enemies.” It’s okay to feel rage, grief, and revulsion. That's a normal, human response to such a traumatic, painful tragedy. However, you have to separate justice from love because loving your enemy doesn’t mean ignoring justice. You can and should pursue accountability, protection, and retribution where appropriate. Loving doesn’t mean letting them go free.
POINT #1 It means you don’t let hatred consume you or dictate your actions. Think of it as: “I hate what you’ve done, and I want justice, but I will not let your evil shape me into a person who spreads more evil.” (it's for your sake not theirs).
POINT #2 Loving an enemy is a refusal to be enslaved by hatred. THINK! Hate can dominate your life—mentally, emotionally, spiritually. Scripture often frames “love your enemies” as a way to protect your own soul! Loving them in this case can mean: Wishing them transformation, not destruction (in the spiritual sense). Letting go of the desire for personal revenge that corrodes you. Choosing compassion for yourself, rather than letting them control your inner world. (it's for your sake not theirs)
POINT #3 Start very small. You don’t have to leap from horror to forgiveness. It's a process the Holy Spirit will help with. Even small steps count: Pray or hope that the world heals from their evil. Wish them insight or a chance to stop perpetuating harm. Focus on acts of goodness around you—helping others, protecting the innocent, and living rightly. You’re still morally and emotionally human, and your anger is natural. Philippians 4:8. Again .. (it's for your sake not theirs).
POINT #4 You need a real-life example. History is full of people who faced evil but found a way to respond without being consumed by hatred. Here's a perfect example .. Martin Luther King Jr., who explicitly rejected hatred of oppressors while still demanding justice. The point isn’t that the evil act is excusable—it’s that responding in love preserves your own humanity. One more time, again ..(it's for your sake not theirs).
POINT #5 Redefine “love” from what you think it means to make it easier. As an example, if your mind immediately says, “I could never hug or smile at them,” that’s fine. Love in this context can mean: wishing them no further harm to others, acting justly rather than vengefully, and maintaining your integrity and moral compass. Finally, (it's for your sake not theirs).
Here it is, step by step, it could simply look like:
Acknowledge your anger and grief fully. Separate justice from personal hatred. Pray, meditate, or mentally commit to not letting hatred dictate your life. Engage in acts of good, protecting the innocent and fostering help. Over time, your heart won’t be “soft” toward the evil-doer; it will simply stop being consumed by them (because it's for your sake not theirs). One thing to remember: in scripture, loving your enemy is often presented as a direction to grow toward, not a switch you instantly flip. Even many deeply faithful people struggle with it their entire lives. The struggle itself doesn’t make you a failure. Remember that!
Until He Comes,
-Pat-
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