What has happened to you that you cannot forget? Something so unfair, so hurtful, so harrowing, so undeserving, that the memories play relentlessly over and over in your mind? Every experience in life forms memories whether good or bad. They are stored like gigabytes on a hard drive. Those memories affect our feelings, our relationships, our actions and reactions even later into adulthood. Because I worked in the field of mental health I witnessed more than 70% of our patients in the psychiatrist office because of some kind of trauma. They were trauma's that had caused an inability to pardon or acquit the alcoholic parent, the sexual abuser, the dad who abandoned his family, the injustice and offenses at the hands of somebody they trusted, etc.
For so many, letting go of something traumatic is not easy. Many are chained by the belief, once wronged always wronged which inevitably leads to a chronic distrust. Then in turn can affect how you view yourself and all the relationships in your life! You might find you frequently doubt other people will come through on their obligations, or you may be afraid of getting too close to others or feel suspicious when someone is kind to you. This can continue for years until you realize things aren't becoming good, healthy, or right with the passage of time. Your struggling with crippling emotions such as fighting depression, anger, and low self-worth continue even though the incident(s) that caused the hurt have long passed. You're damaged!
Years of denial, covering up, anti-anxiety medications and therapy have not worked. Now what?
**Your mind yearns to forget. You want to forget. There is no defiance there.
** Your body agrees if only the mind can get it fixed because the body will follow the mind. What we think we do.
** Your emotions which you cannot see, touch or hear, have been so wounded so that you cannot seem to move past what has happened to you. DAMAGED.
But even in all this, we must realize according to the gospel we must release those who have harmed us (Matthew 18:21-22; Matthew 6:14-15; Colossians 3:13) but not only because Jesus instructed us but because the pain hurts us not them! When you hold onto unforgiveness, it holds a power over you that controls your ability to heal inwardly. It's important to understand that you can forgive someone, thus freeing yourself, without resuming contact. Depending on the circumstances, you may even need to avoid contact.
Now the question becomes how do we acquit and absolve our abusers? There is a way. A scriptural, sound evangelical, biblical way! The starting point for healing damaged emotions?...truly, freely accept God's Love and Grace for yourself. It is not earned. You can never do enough to deserve it. You are worthy of God's love and acceptance. Through Jesus Christ, God showed that He understands our suffering. Through Christ, we are loved just the way we are ... damaged. Maybe you feel God does not hear you. You keep striving for acceptance from God and others. But you can never get the acceptance or affirmation you so desperately think you need. I have been healed of everything that I struggled with by coming to Jesus and being saved by Him. I only realized that this cure came through being born-again (John 3:3), and that through the Bible I am helped, encouraged, and am led to sustain this wonderful newness of life. Being born again taught me what love is, what it requires, and thus I was able to completely forgive and pardon my abuser.
Final thoughts. Seek The One who heals and makes people completely whole. You must seek, no one can do it for you. By His grace He did it for me, He is willing to do it for you too...if you would only ask. I sought out answers by reading the King James Bible...the truth is contained therein. Be saved! Find out about the gospel of your salvation (about Jesus' death, burial and resurrection) Personally, I never knew any of this when I cried out to Him to help me when I had just had enough of living. But He responded and brought me to understand more through the Bible and through the testimonies of many like me who are now saved. Your life will never be the same again. Mine has changed beyond my wildest dreams...finally I am happy!! I pray that you find this joy too.
Until He Comes,
-Pat-
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