FORGIVENESS

 

We live in a world where hurt and pain are inevitable. We’ve all experienced wounds from others whether intentional or unintentional that have left us feeling broken, bitter, and betrayed. But as followers of Christ, we are called to a higher standard. In Colossians 3:13, the Apostle Paul reminds us of the transformative power of forgiveness, both for ourselves and for others. How we can move from hurt to healing? 

Have you ever stepped on a nail? If you have, you know how painful it is. You have two choices, either leave it in which means you're going to have pain all the time, especially when you step down on that foot, and if you do it will probably get infected. The infection will get worse and gangrene can set in. Then you'll need your foot amputated! If you don't do something you about that you will die from the infection. Your second choice is, you can go through the brief pain of extraction and begin the process of healing. When it comes to our physical life, our physical health, our physical well-being, our physical wounds, what we are to do is so clear. Simple. Yet when it comes to our spiritual and emotional wounds, when we 'step on a nail' spiritually or emotionally, we so often let it fester. And it leads to things like anger, bitterness, hatred, and it prevents the healing process. It poisons our soul and threatens our faith.

There is a compelling story in scripture on forgiveness from Matthew chapter 18:21-35 where Peter is asking Jesus some questions on forgiveness. Jesus answers him and then expounds on it to make it more clear. See if you can relate to it or fit into the story of what Jesus is explaining. You need to read it in the Bible for yourself but I will break it down.

A man was so far in debt, a debt he could not pay, that he begged for his life. He pleaded not because he was called out but because he was sorry about the debt he had caused the king. In the scripture he pleads for mercy and promises he'll pay back all that he owes, and although he can't, he is sincere! The king sees his humility and heartfelt sincerity and forgives him. The entire debt was then moved from the mans account and placed on the kings account!  That kind of generosity, that kind of forgiveness is amazing. The man is debt free. As it goes, the free man goes into the city happy and relieved that the burden has been lifted off his shoulders. As he is walking he sees someone who owes him 100 silver coins. A significant amount, no doubt about it, but a drop in the hat compared to 10,000 bags of gold he owed the king.  So the man sees this guy who owes him 100 silver coins and goes up to him and immediately forgives him.

 .. ah, no. That's not what he did!  He goes up to the man and shouts, "Pay up!" The debtor pleads for mercy. He is sincere. He humbles himself begging and crying that he'll pay the debt but that he just needs a little time. But the guy insist he be paid what is owed. So the man who owed the king 10,000 bags of gold is now insisting, without mercy, for the guy who owes 100 silver coins be thrown into prison until he can pay the debt. What would you think if you were there? What would you think if you were able to see all of this and this man being forgiven a debt of 10,000 bags of gold but then you see this same man go out and not forgive the man with 100 silver coins? Well, those who were present at the time were appalled! They were outraged, and they went back to the king and reported what they had witnessed. After hearing this the king brings back that servant. The king is angry. 

The king speaks, "'What's with you? I forgave your debt of 10,000 bags of gold and you didn't forgive someone who owes you 100 silver coins?? Okay. I'm reinstating your debt. I'm giving you back all the 10,000 bags of gold. It's yours. Yours until you pay it off." But the man will never be able to pay it off. He will die in prison. Did you know unforgiveness is a sin? The Good book tells us "The wages of sin is death" <spiritual death>.  So, where do YOU fit into the story? I'll give you a hint. You're not the king. You and I on our own owe the King 10,000 bags of gold. That's our debt. SO MUCH. It's a debt we can't even begin to repay. Truth is, even just one cent, just one, we can't even repay. Let's go back. Not a year, not a month, but just last week. Did you sin at all? Self righteousness? Shaming? Judging? Pettiness? Pride? Gossip? Impatience? Cursing? Swearing? Lust? Laziness? Or maybe something else?

Because of our sinful nature here is the hard truth, sin for you and me has become a way of life. Scriptures says, "All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23). ALL OF US, no matter who we are, have a deep and desperate need of forgiveness. Forgiveness for a debt we cannot repay. Forgiveness matters because sin creates a separation between us and God. How else might you fit into this story? We all fit into this story with the same God. People have hurt us either intentionally or unintentionally. We've been broken. We're hurt. We're wounded. Maybe as a child you were neglected, abandoned, or sexually abused. Maybe you were called a name on the playground and it stuck. Maybe you were humiliated by a teacher in front of the class (that would be me). Maybe a friend betrayed you, a spouse, a family member. Maybe someone ruined your name by giving you bad financial advice. Maybe someone committed a crime and pointed at you as the guilty party. We've all been hurt in little or big ways. What will make a difference is what will we do with that wound. We can hold onto it, and we'll be edgy, angry, have trust issues and we definitely won't heal. OR, we can forgive the debtor and the debt thus begin the process of healing.

Why us it so difficult to forgive? I know it's difficult because I had several deep deep wounds no person should ever have had to deal with in childhood. It is so difficult to forgive because we don't feel forgiven and because we don't feel forgiven, we feel we must somehow earn it, do some good works, prove we're not bad, prove our goodness, because we have to be pleasing in order to be accepted. Many will not agree with that sentence but in reality that is exactly how we are living our lives. Because we think we have to earn our forgiveness, we are making sure other people are earning our forgiveness too.  Another grave mistake we make is that we don't believe our sin is that costly. We use excuses like, "My mistake(s), my sins are not that good but hey, they aren't that bad either. I'M NOT THAT BAD. I mean, I can appreciate forgiveness, but what this other person did to me is so much bigger and I just can't let that go. Who in their right mind could forgive that?" Ever feel that way? It's so hard for us to forgive because we don't see the intrinsic value of a person. We live in a me- me- me self world today. Just look at all the posted selfies online!

There are consequences to the lack of forgiveness. Lack of forgiveness is a sin. It not only creates a separation between US AND THE ONE WHO SINNED AGAINST US, but also a separation between us and God. If I'm holding onto that sin, I CAN'T HOLD ONTO GOD. When we refuse to forgive it robs us of joy and contentment, leaving us angry and bitter causing our good emotions to be frozen. 

Do you need to forgive someone? Who comes up in your mind? Someone who annoys you? Disagrees with you? Someone who betrayed you?  A person who literally turned your life upside down? Sometimes the person you need to forgive most is you! The Holy Spirit moved Paul to write these words in Colossians 3:13, "Forgive as the Lord forgave you." Often there is a stronghold, a tension preventing you, isn't there? There's this fight in you to keep hating someone, to detest what they did to you, to loathe their very presence. It's hard to get past it. I know, I struggled with it for years against my abuser and also extreme bullying by a teacher and 4 of his star students. Which finally brings me to this question, What do you think will give you the power to forgive? THE GREATEST MOTIVATION FOR FORGIVENESS IS CHRISTS' LOVE!

Jesus did not accidently step on a nail. The nails were perfectly driven through his feet. And not only were nails driven through his feet, they were driven through his hands. When Jesus was mocked, spit on, humiliated, laughed at, whipped, stripped naked, denied water, pierced through while being crucified on a cross what did He do? He cried out to God, "Father FORGIVE THEM, they don't realize what they are doing." The key to forgiveness is realizing that when JESUS WENT TO THAT CROSS 2000 YEARS AGO He paid for all of your sins with His love. And He paid for all the sins of the people against you in full with His love. You don't need to hold on. You don't need to be angry. You don't need to be bitter. You're free. Free from your own sin and free to forgive others who have wronged you. Forgiveness is at the very heart of Christianity. It's why Jesus came. REDEMPTION. He bought back our souls with His life. He paid our debt in full.  Gods plan of salvation was/is restoring us to a right relationship with God. Forgiveness is the grace between God and us and against God and others. By embracing the power of forgiveness, as exemplified by the Lord’s forgiveness towards us we discover the grace that moves us from hurt to healing.

Until He comes,

-Pat-