Meet My Needs Or I Will Leave!

Recently I was asked by one of my neighbors if I knew of a 'good church' but more specifically one that would meet her needs. Have you ever been asked that? 'Do you know of a good church?' What people define as GOOD differs greatly. The question, however, is not uncommon among Christians but one I've never been able to determine what others mean by the word "good". It's subjective. The question is perplexing not because I haven't a clue about a few great churches here and there pastored by devoted men, but because defining a person's "needs" is a challenge. When it comes to your own church, what are your needs? What made you determine to choose the church you attend? The hours offered? The proximity to your home? Casual dress? Free breakfast with coffee on Sundays? It is becoming commonplace for people to seek a church that offers a smorgasbord of programs: extracurricular activities, classes, camps for kids, mission trips, free babysitting, singles clubs, men's club, women's bible studies, etc. If the phrase I need a church that "meets my needs" implies the need to satisfy spiritual hunger, then it is a good expression. God's voice should be heard through spiritual teaching as we need opportunities to serve, love, and be called to repentance. But to some, church membership means reaching for personal goals and satisfying needs outside of the spiritual realm, and if a certain requirement is not met, they feel the need to move on. I'm not an innocent bystander here! I have been guilty of leaving a church in search of another because the music was too dull for me. This was many many years ago. Many of us are guilty of leaving a congregation for a variety of reasons. Here are a few examples:
1. Not being chosen for the choir (IE: "I have a wonderful voice. How could they have chosen her over me?")
2. The preacher talks to long (IE: "He's so long winded a CAT 5 hurricane has nothing on him!")
3. No childcare services (IE: "I won't consider staying in this church if they will not babysit my child.")
4. Diversity (IE: "This church would be okay but there are too many old people here. I feel out of place. I need to go elsewhere")
5. The music (IE: "The music is dead. There are too many old hymns that do not appeal to me and probably more than half the congregation!" THIS WAS ME!

Personally, I have heard every reason I listed above. Sadly, and without meaning to, congregations have adopted and accepted this demand to MEET MY NEEDS OR I WILL LEAVE. As a result, pastors and members of the functioning church will seek out, create, and promote program after program in an attempt to prevent their members from leaving. The truth is, a loss of membership means a loss of financial support and so many pastors just won't let that happen if they can help it. Unfortunately, there are way too many pastors "buying" souls, hoping they can tickle ears and give members what they demand both spiritually and physically (2 Timothy 4:3). Whatever happened to the attitude of members serving the church instead of the church serving the member? John Fitzgerald Kennedy, the 35th president of the United States, in his famous inaugural speech, urged American citizens to participate in public service and to "ask not what your country can do for you -- ask what you can do for your country." With the same mindset, we need to ask what we can do for the church and not what the church can do for us. Church programs are fine. Babysitting options during church service is fine. Annual church socials are fine. The problem is when we choose a church or go to church for everything it offers and we neglect our spiritual growth. Sadly, there are people attending church just to be counted, to say they attend church, to meet someone of the opposite sex, or to receive the "good stuff." When are people most fulfilled, when their own needs are met or when they meet the needs of God's Church?

The Bible tells us that we are filled when we empty ourselves and serve others. This is the example of Christ and given to us in Philippians 2:5-8; a life of a servant. You can do acts of service but still NOT BE a servant if your motivation is rooted in selfish ambition, if your intended outcome is recognition, and if your ultimate purpose is to benefit yourself in some way. Many years ago I knew a church member I'll use as an example. She had the most beautiful voice! She wanted to join the church choir but for some reason was always rejected. I cannot tell you why no one ever knew. I did know, however, that her intended career was to sing professionally but that all fell through. She had a few gigs from time to time but her dream to record CD's never came to fruition. She took that unfulfilled desire to be a musical icon into the church but whatever the reason was for her denial (there were rumors of unbecoming conduct and such) resulted in bitterness and revenge on her part. She wanted to be included in that choir, to appear before Sunday crowds, to be "somebody," to feel accepted, good enough, and yes, to be admired. Her focus was
'self" to revel in the glory. Sometimes our priorities are skewed and we get caught up wanting to serve the flesh rather than the Creator. True servanthood begins with SELFLESSNESS, maintains humility, and ultimately seeks the good of others -- and that, that requires the right heart attitude.

The Bible says in Matthew 20: 26-28 "Whosoever will be great among you let him be your minister (servant)." AND "The Son of Man didn't come to be ministered to, but to minister" (serve). Paul said, "I beseech you (Paul is imploring us) present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God which is your reasonable service (Romans 12:1). It's not a "job" it is a service we offer to God! "Living Sacrifice" implies you're making an "offering" to God. "Reasonable service" is not having our own needs met (ask not what your church can do for you, ask what you can do for your church). Remember "it is more blessed to give than to receive" (Acts 20:35). Where are your priorities? Do you attend church so that you can have an hour of peace away from your children? Do attend your church for their contemporary music so you can rock-out on Sunday morning only to neglect your spiritual growth? Do you attend a particular church because if you join the missions team you'll be able to travel and see new places you are not financially able to do so otherwise? I hope your true intent and purpose for attending church is that you have a desire to hear, learn, and know God's Word first and foremost and to apply it to your life.
Until next time,
-Pat-