I Was Born Like This. I Can't Change

Roman Bathhouse

Recently I was asked by a friend if I could speak to a lady whose son was a part of the LGBTQ community. According to the mother,  despite efforts on her part to show him God created him male in a male body, her son was convinced (quoting Him now to her)  "God made me queer. I am comfortable who I am. I cannot change just like you can't change being my mom." After a brief exchange I asked if she would ask his mother if I could speak with her son, Ryan, and left my cell # in case he might want to reach out. In the meantime, anticipating a possible call, I prepared some notes with biblical verses and locations so that I would not stumble trying to remember the exact location of scriptures careful not to misquote verses. Within the next 72 hours I did get a call from Ryan! I want to share this condensed conversation for any LGBTQ man or woman that has asked the same thing Ryan asked me. Not to judge, not to point a finger, but to share God's perspective as it is written That's it.

Here's the condensed version.

Ryan: How can I change something when God made me like this? I was born like this and I've known since age 8. How can that be a sin like my mom keeps telling me?

Me: First, let me see if I can make some things clear. You do know what you are feeling isn't abnormal, Ryan.? Are you surprised I said that? You were probably expecting something else. Condemnation maybe?

(silence)

Me: Okay, let see .. Scriptures tells us we're all sinful at birth from the time our mothers conceived us as the scripture confirms in Psalm 51:5, "Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me." And Romans chapter 3:10-12 and verse 23 states, "There is no one righteous, not even one, and all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." We are born with a natural propensity to sin. It's just a fact.

Ryan: "So what you're essentially saying is, I'm going to hell?

Me: Being born with an inclination doesn't itself make the inclination's expression right. Scripture says that EVERY ONE is born with desires that pull against God's design in various ways. Galatians 5:17 "For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you don't do the things that you wish."

RYAN: My point exactly. I can't help being this way.

ME: Incorrect.  The good news is, there  is a way out if you're willing to accept this good news.

(silence).

Ryan: Tell me why then, there's been an increase to 23 million in those who have joined the LGBTQ community if it's not natural? We can't all be wrong. Or where does it explicitly state that my lifestyle is wrong? There is nothing to back what you're saying. No one on earth can seem to show me. (giggling)

Me: Well, Ryan, these are signs of the last days. NOT THE END, the last days. Signs to show man we're nearing the end and judgement is coming soon after. The Word of God states that sin will become increasingly sinful as the day approaches just as LGBTQ increases. You do know the lifestyle your living wasn't uncommon in biblical times and that's why the Bible addresses this multiple times? You're not the first and you certainly won't be the last. Relying on a multitude of numbers doesn't make a claim correct, it often reveals the opposite.

(a long silence)

Ryan: What? What do you mean? 

Me: Okay, Leviticus 18:22 states, "Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman. It's an abomination" -- meaning detestable, Ryan. Morally unacceptable, not unforgivable. And then again, in the book of Romans 1:26-27 Paul describes both female/female and male/male same sex relations as unnatural and shameful. And one more .. 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 states, "Do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the Kingdom of God?" I'm not judging you, Ryan, I'm sharing what God said to address some of your questions. Paul goes on and specifies, "Do not be deceived, neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, adulterers, or men who have sex with men, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor slanderers, nor swindlers will inherit the Kingdom of God."

Ryan: Right, but context is everything. So what's the context behind this? Give me concrete proof. 

Me: I thought you might go there if you called so I got some history and made notes.

Me: It's a good question. Okay. Corinth was a wealthy Roman port city rebuilt by Julius Caesar. It was notorios even by Roman standards for sexual excess, and the Greeks had a verb for this .. korinthiazomai which means Corthianize, meaning to live immorally.1 Corinthians is essentially a corrective letter TO A CHURCH, a church, Ryan, one in chaos and claiming to be Christians in which Paul lists behaviors- the sexually immoral and those who commit same-gender sex acts, idolaters, adulterers, thieves, the greedy, drunkards, slanderers, swindlers.. and notice, same-sex acts and sexual immorality sit between adultery and theft. So Paul wasn't really singling anything out. All these sins were being committed.

Ryan: So you're basically saying I'm not going to heaven and God hates me. This is the same stuff I get from other Christians as I speak to the Christian church in general who never helps, just judges.

Me: Let me see if I can clarify better for you, Ryan. GOD ABSOLUTELY LOVES YOU but He does hate sin as it is enmity with Him, a holy, undefiled God. But as I said earlier, there is a way out. If you actually hear one more verse you'll see how Paul finishes.. "And that is what some of you were, but you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God." Isn't that amazing? You can have the same.

Ryan: (sounding disappointed) I don't get it.

Me: Ryan! If it can happen to them, it can happen to you! Paul's point to the Corinthians wasn't 'these people are excluded' -- it's that "they've been changed." Some Corinthian believers had come out of every behavior on that list, including same-sex practices. Roman bathhouses were known for that. Ryan,  God can transform you through grace and by accepting Him to be Lord over your life. You can throw away your old self and lifestyle if you choose to through free-will, vow to turn/change, repent of sins, and be “born again.” But GRACE doesn’t mean you continue as you were. Grace isn’t permission but rather, transformation. Start off by taking the first step in this journey! Come as you are, like we all were, a broken sinner needing help to change, start over, confess and be freed and forgiven of all sin. Then begin walking in newness of life asking Gods help each day that you journey on. Begin reading His Word, learning and growing.

I don't know what decision Ryan made. I hope these questions and answers has helped someone else. Any additional question can be asked in the comment section where I would be happy to address them as I did or Ryan.

Until He Comes,

-Pat-